Living In an Unhappy Marriage
March 31, 2008 | Leave a Comment
There are a lot of things that can make an unhappy marriage and believe it or not, most of the issues can be avoided ahead of time. A lot of the reasons that are behind an unhappy marriage were completely avoidable if the couple knew enough ahead of time to make some plans for their relationship. There are a lot of benefits that comes along with taking the time to take courses through your local church or relationship group as these can help shed some light on what you should and should not expect from a marriage. The biggest problem often lies within false expectations.
An unhappy marriage can be a result of the couple expecting that everything in their relationship was just fall into place because they were in love and that is really all that is needed. Most people believe that all you need is love and as long as you have that, everything will work out. But soon, couples will realize that their love is not keeping them employed, keeping the kids well behaved, or keeping food on the table. So when trouble strikes and it all was not solved by their love, things tend to fall apart because there was never a back up plan set in place. There was never a moment when they discussed how they would handle things when times get rough and this will cause an unhappy marriage.
Fixing the Problems Within
Fixing the problems within the marriage can be difficult but it is not impossible. It is important though to remember that it is best to get started as soon as you notice a problem because as with anything that is breaking down, the longer you wait, the harder it is going to be to fix it. An unhappy marriage can be salvaged but is going to take some hard work and some soul searching. It is going to take each person admitting that they did not know what to expect, they did not know how to handle problems, and that they need to learn more about the other person and themselves.
An unhappy marriage is one that is the perfect candidate for a marriage counseling session or two and this could prove to have wonderful benefits to your relationship. There is nothing to be ashamed of when talking about seeking outside help because all it means is that there is a commitment there to make things work. The only shame should come from a couple that just wants to give up and not learn anything. If nothing is at least learned, then each person is likely to make the same mistakes with another partner and this is often where you get people getting married and getting divorced more then a few times.
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Can Priests Be A Good Christian Marriage Counselors?
March 26, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Marriages are wonderful institutions when they shape up well. Nobody really knows why some marriages wok wonderfully and how others end in divorce. A Christian marriage, if you follow the scriptures to the letter, should never be dissolved because there is a belief that such union has been ordained by God Himself. However, even in the homes of exemplary Christians there are marital problems, some so bad that the couple would prefer to end their marriage.
Christian Marriage Counseling To The Rescue
Many such couples before taking the drastic step, choose to go for counseling and see whether the marriage can be saved. Unfortunately, the counseling services are far in between and even though the professional services available are good, it takes time to get to the root of the problem which is difficult to do when the discussion is broken into hourly piece meal consultations. The result is that very rarely the marriage counseling has any great effect on reconsidering separation or divorce. Sometimes, it even accelerates it.
Some couples feel that Christian marriage counselors can do a better job at this because they put your life in religious perspective and therefore are able motivate better. However, not many agree to this concept. On the other hand, many consider their priest a better Christian marriage counselor than any professional.
Why The Priest Could Be Better as a Christian Marriage Counselor?
The priest would be a better mediator between the warring spouses because he would know them better. Each parish priest establishes a close relation with those who fall under his congregation. Owing to this relationship, the priest would be in a better position to advise and guide the spouses towards reconciliation. Besides, the priest would already be a trusted member of the family and hence sensitive discussions would be easier in front of him than anyone else.
As a Christian marriage counselor the priest would have many advantages over an unknown professional counselor. He would be comfortable with both the spouses; he would inspire trust and confidence in them; he would have a strong faith in God and be able to reflect this in his behavior and words and explain it in the context of marriage; he would be patient and he would be easy to confide in – and many other such clauses.
Most of all, the priest would be the best candidate because he would be able to provide counsel and mediate whenever you need him and not by appointment.
Why Living Together Before Marriage Has Become A Leading Trend All Over The World
March 24, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Once upon a time when two people fell in love with one another everyone expected to hear wedding bells in the near future. Not anymore. Today the trend would take the besotted couple into a cohabiting arrangement. So common has this fashion become, that in many countries the law has recognized and legalized it in order to protect the rights of children and women who are the most vulnerable in such conditions.
Is Living Together Before Marriage A Good Idea?
A huge number of people surely think that way because the number of couples who decide to live together has all but doubled during the past decade. Couples feel that it is easier to decide whether or not to marry the person they love after they take a “trial run”.
Most of these people shun marriage, not because they do not believe in this institution, but because they hate divorce. Since divorce is the order of the day in the present age, couples do not want to risk marrying and ending in divorce so they agree to leave the door open.
The Advantages Of Living Together Before Marriage
Living together before marriage would help the couple to see each other closer and analyze whether the other is really the “marrying type”. A fear that haunts most couples in love is that after marriage they would fall into stereotype roles which would destroy the feelings they have for each other. With cohabitation, since the possibility of ending the relationship is always there, both the members work hard at the relationship which makes living together before marriage a great proposition.
Another advantage from this arrangement is that money matters are not taken for granted and neither is sex. These are two of the most common marriage busters which in these types of relationships are given their due importance. Since there is no permanent legal commitment, both members feel obligated to play fair and keep one another is the loop on these two aspects.
The Disadvantages Of Living Together Before Marriage
There are a few disadvantages as well. One of the most glaring is the plight of the children who would be born illegitimate, though the society does not frown upon this any longer. However, the children would feel the same trauma when their parents separate (if they do) as with a divorce and the live-in relationships are far easier to break than a marriage.
It is also difficult to keep track of all the common property created which makes it difficult to divide if the relationship does not work out.
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How to Save A Marriage And Prevent A Divorce
March 18, 2008 | Leave a Comment
There are many reasons why marriages fail in today’s world. Some reasons leave no choice while others are escapists, but the bottom line remains that statistics regarding divorce are not showing favorable trends. All over the world, divorce rate is growing which leaves many people trying to figure out why.
Divorce is easy when things get extremely tough, and therefore can be the first choice when trouble rocks the marital boat. Why bother to find out how to save a marriage when divorce can get rid of all the problems?
Three Fool Proof Steps on How To Save A Marriage
You can prevent a divorce no matter what stage your marriage is in today. Here are three fool proof steps towards restoring marital bliss.
How To Save A Marriage - Step One: Open Dialogue
Nine out of ten marriages go on the verge of complete break up because the spouses stop communicating with each other. By communication, it is not meant the day to day unimportant conversation, but the deeper sharing of feelings, expectations, dreams and fears. This to be there between husband and wife. The more guarded these personal feelings become, the further you go from your spouse. Therefore, the first step on how to save a marriage is to open dialogue.
How To Save A Marriage -Step Two: Spend Quality Time Together
Many couples groan at this suggestion saying that there is absolutely no time for themselves with a career, home and children to handle and juggle on a daily basis. Parenting is after all a full time job without any off-days. However, spending time together is very important. Communication normally shuts down because there is no “right” time to talk about something serious and so you put it off for when that “right” time comes. With every postponement you grow self-reliant emotionally and a day would come when you find you do not need to talk with your spouse any longer.
This is why you need to make time – it doesn’t even have to be anything special. Just keep two hours over the weekend for each other and go for dinner together or for a cup of coffee and update each other about everything that is going on in your life. Marriage is all about sharing, interdependency and valuing each other’s opinions.
How To Save A Marriage - Step Three: Pay Attention To The Sexual Side Of The Relationship
Sex is very important in a marriage, so don’t lead yourself to believe it is not. If you don’t look forward to make love with one another, if sex has become a routine task rather than a peppy adventure, it is time you take a close look and find out ways to improve it. Make sex something you look forward to. Work together about what turns your spouse on and put in all efforts to make it grand! It will be well worth the effort.
If Your Wish Is To Save Your Marriage
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Marriage Ceremonies in South Asia
March 15, 2008 | Leave a Comment
It is interesting to note how different countries, religions and cultures celebrate weddings in different ways. The marriage ceremony in South Asian countries like India, Pakistan and Bangladesh usually last a week or so. They are spread over several days as there are several traditions that need to be observed both on the grooms and brides side.
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Marriage is a big deal as dating is usually frowned upon. Many marriages are arranged or at least partially arranged and at least in conservative sections of India and all of Pakistan, it is the first time the bride and groom will become intimate with one another. Therefore, there is a big deal about the marriage ceremony and the wedding night in that respect.
Marriage ceremonies in this part of the world is not just two people tying the knot, it is the coming together of two families and by that it is implied that a 1000 people will be invited, fed and entertained even if the groom and bride can’t afford it. Parents pay most of not all of the wedding expenses in these cultures and therefore they also have a big say into what goes where and what happens when.
Traditional Aspects
One of the most popular things that take pace during Indian marriage preparations is the singing and dancing by all family members and the application of henna for the bride as well as her friends a day or two before the wedding. The more affluent echelons of society hire professionals to come and grace the occasion with their song and dance routines whereas others just rely on cousins and friends to liven up the party until the wee hours of the night.
Lots of customary things take place such as putting a turmeric paste on the brides body to apparently make her skin fairer and freckle-free and asking seven married women to bless her so that her husband too has a long life.
Pakistani marriage events also are similar except that they have an Islamic aspect to it as far as the ‘nikah’ is concerned which is a contract which the bride and groom sign in order to get married. It gives the girl and the boy the option to divorce whereas Hindu (Indian) cultures do not technically have that option.
Both cultures also usually have the newlyweds be invited to several parties on both sides of the family soon after the wedding. They usually have such feasting for weeks in a row so that everyone is introduced to the new couple. Many families have the newlyweds live with the in-laws in a joint family system whereas other more forward thinking people prefer them to start their new life in their own place.
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The Basics of Marriage Counseling
March 8, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Almost half of all marriages end in divorce. That is why there is an increase in couples seeking marriage counseling. Nobody wants to think that the marriage they are in will end. Marriage counseling offers a way for couples to work thorough problems with an outside influence. Marriage counseling can help couples to rebuild a marriage that was on the way to divorce.
Marriage counseling is a type of therapy that helps married couples resolve problems they may be having in their marriage. Most often counseling is conducted with both partners present. However, sometimes there will be individual sessions depending on the couples needs. The basis for marriage counseling is research that has shown problems in a marriage are best solved through communication and working together. Marriage counseling usually lasts a short period of time, until the problems are resolved and the marriage is back on track and the couple can handle problems on their own. In a session the counselor will ask questions, listen and analyze problems. The counseling usually starts with an analysis of the marriage and its problems. Then the problems are worked through to an amicable conclusion.
Marriage counselors are trained in psychotherapy. They also have an understanding about families, how to understand client’s needs and problems. They also have training that allows them to help clients work through the problems to reach conclusions. All of this training lets them be able to identify underlying problems. A good marriage counselor will not make a client feel guilty or blame. They will teach clients to work through problems and get over bad feelings.
Marriage counseling can help couples open the lines of communication. Communication has been shown to be the key to a healthy and happy relationship. Couples with problems seek marriage counseling o get a better understanding of what has went wrong in their marriage, so they can once again have a string marriage.
Jeanette Pollock is a freelance author and website owner. She publishes articles and reports in various ezines and also contributes on a regular basis to FreeNetPublishing.com.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jeanette_Pollock
The Basics of Marriage Counseling
March 8, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Almost half of all marriages end in divorce. That is why there is an increase in couples seeking marriage counseling. Nobody wants to think that the marriage they are in will end. Marriage counseling offers a way for couples to work thorough problems with an outside influence. Marriage counseling can help couples to rebuild a marriage that was on the way to divorce.
Marriage counseling is a type of therapy that helps married couples resolve problems they may be having in their marriage. Most often counseling is conducted with both partners present. However, sometimes there will be individual sessions depending on the couples needs. The basis for marriage counseling is research that has shown problems in a marriage are best solved through communication and working together. Marriage counseling usually lasts a short period of time, until the problems are resolved and the marriage is back on track and the couple can handle problems on their own. In a session the counselor will ask questions, listen and analyze problems. The counseling usually starts with an analysis of the marriage and its problems. Then the problems are worked through to an amicable conclusion.
Marriage counselors are trained in psychotherapy. They also have an understanding about families, how to understand client’s needs and problems. They also have training that allows them to help clients work through the problems to reach conclusions. All of this training lets them be able to identify underlying problems. A good marriage counselor will not make a client feel guilty or blame. They will teach clients to work through problems and get over bad feelings.
Marriage counseling can help couples open the lines of communication. Communication has been shown to be the key to a healthy and happy relationship. Couples with problems seek marriage counseling o get a better understanding of what has went wrong in their marriage, so they can once again have a string marriage.
Jeanette Pollock is a freelance author and website owner. She publishes articles and reports in various ezines and also contributes on a regular basis to FreeNetPublishing.com.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jeanette_Pollock
Christian Marriage Counseling
March 7, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Christian marriage counseling offers assistance to a married couple on the basis of Christian values and principles. The curriculum of a Christian marriage counseling program generally uses powerful Biblical themes together with proven practical skills. It helps married couples having troubled relationships understand each another and god better. Christian marriage counseling helps the couple obey the commandments and other principles of the scriptures, and submit themselves completely to the will of God.
Churches and pastoral counselors provide Christian marriage counseling. It can be helpful at any stage of the marriage and even before the marriage. It is always better to seek the help of marriage counseling services at the beginning stage itself. Christian marriage counseling mainly involves three things - dealing with problems such as communication failure, handling common issues that spoil a relationship, and bringing back godly marriage principles to the wedlock. Christian marriage counseling reminds the couples of the sanctity of the marital commitment and helps in refocusing their lives. The Christian counselor enlightens the partners on the word of god and helps find solutions to various problems and issues. He teaches that that true marriage is not a mere contract between a man and a woman, and that true marriages take place only in Jesus Christ.
Many Christian marriage counseling programs employ research-based curriculum that combines skills and education to help couples strengthen and sustain their marriage. Most Christian marriage counseling programs teach the couple the foundations of a Christian marriage. A number of agencies conduct Christian workshops and seminars also to supplement other Christian marriage counseling programs.
A Christian marriage counseling program is the best bet when the couples face problems connected with how to raise the children or one of the partners has problems with cocaine or alcohol. Christian marriage counseling services are available in person or by phone.
Marriage Counseling provides detailed information on Marriage Counseling, Christian Marriage Counseling, Family Marriage Counseling, Free Marriage Counseling and more. Marriage Counseling is affiliated with Marriage Problems.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ken_Marlborough
The Most Important Things In Marriage
March 5, 2008 | Leave a Comment
When it comes to marriage, there are things that you are responsible for doing that are so important to the marriage’s success. But, we could list an endless list of these things. Instead, though, let’s talk about those things that are most important in marriage.
The most important aspect of marriage is communication. If you can not talk to your spouse, your marriage will have no room for growth. Communication builds trust as well. It is important to maintain a good trusting, marriage. Communicating your feelings and needs will keep your marriage pumping forward!
Another important thing in marriage is having a firm foundation. Like a building the foundation of a marriage is what keeps it from falling apart. The most important aspect really is what your marriage is built on. Your values, morals, and beliefs are the foundation for your marriage. If you and your spouse can’t agree here, well, things are going to be shaking in your marriage.
Other things that are important in marriage include being understanding, honesty, and forgiveness. Without these things, your marriage will not survive long. Instead, you will constantly question your marriage foundations.
It is important to take into consideration all of these things. Marriage is built on trust, love, and friendship. How many of these things are in your marriage? How many of these things do you need to work on to have a successful relationship? Marriage is always the first priority. For more on this topic, visit http://www.getdatingtips.com.
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S A Baker is staff writer at http://www.getdatingtips.com Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=S._A._Baker |
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March 5, 2008 | Leave a Comment
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