Living Together Before Marriage is it good ?

April 20, 2008 | 1 Comment

marriage

Once upon a time when two people fell in love with one another everyone expected to hear wedding bells in the near future. Not anymore. Today the trend would take the besotted couple into a cohabiting arrangement. So common has this fashion become, that in many countries the law has recognized and legalized it in order to protect the rights of children and women who are the most vulnerable in such conditions.

Is Living Together Before Marriage A Good Idea?

A huge number of people surely think that way because the number of couples who decide to live together has all but doubled during the past decade. Couples feel that it is easier to decide whether or not to marry the person they love after they take a “trial run”.

Most of these people shun marriage, not because they do not believe in this institution, but because they hate divorce. Since divorce is the order of the day in the present age, couples do not want to risk marrying and ending in divorce so they agree to leave the door open.

The Advantages Of Living Together Before Marriage

Living together before marriage would help the couple to see each other closer and analyze whether the other is really the “marrying type”. A fear that haunts most couples in love is that after marriage they would fall into stereotype roles which would destroy the feelings they have for each other. With cohabitation, since the possibility of ending the relationship is always there, both the members work hard at the relationship which makes living together before marriage a great proposition.

Another advantage from this arrangement is that money matters are not taken for granted and neither is sex. These are two of the most common marriage busters which in these types of relationships are given their due importance. Since there is no permanent legal commitment, both members feel obligated to play fair and keep one another is the loop on these two aspects.

The Disadvantages Of Living Together Before Marriage

There are a few disadvantages as well. One of the most glaring is the plight of the children who would be born illegitimate, though the society does not frown upon this any longer. However, the children would feel the same trauma when their parents separate (if they do) as with a divorce and the live-in relationships are far easier to break than a marriage.

It is also difficult to keep track of all the common property created which makes it difficult to divide if the relationship does not work out.

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Can Priests Be A Good Christian Marriage Counselors?

March 26, 2008 | 1 Comment

Marriages are wonderful institutions when they shape up well. Nobody really knows why some marriages wok wonderfully and how others end in divorce. A Christian marriage, if you follow the scriptures to the letter, should never be dissolved because there is a belief that such union has been ordained by God Himself. However, even in the homes of exemplary Christians there are marital problems, some so bad that the couple would prefer to end their marriage.

Christian Marriage Counseling To The Rescue

Many such couples before taking the drastic step, choose to go for counseling and see whether the marriage can be saved. Unfortunately, the counseling services are far in between and even though the professional services available are good, it takes time to get to the root of the problem which is difficult to do when the discussion is broken into hourly piece meal consultations. The result is that very rarely the marriage counseling has any great effect on reconsidering separation or divorce. Sometimes, it even accelerates it.

Some couples feel that Christian marriage counselors can do a better job at this because they put your life in religious perspective and therefore are able motivate better. However, not many agree to this concept. On the other hand, many consider their priest a better Christian marriage counselor than any professional.

Why The Priest Could Be Better as a Christian Marriage Counselor?

The priest would be a better mediator between the warring spouses because he would know them better. Each parish priest establishes a close relation with those who fall under his congregation. Owing to this relationship, the priest would be in a better position to advise and guide the spouses towards reconciliation. Besides, the priest would already be a trusted member of the family and hence sensitive discussions would be easier in front of him than anyone else.

As a Christian marriage counselor the priest would have many advantages over an unknown professional counselor. He would be comfortable with both the spouses; he would inspire trust and confidence in them; he would have a strong faith in God and be able to reflect this in his behavior and words and explain it in the context of marriage; he would be patient and he would be easy to confide in – and many other such clauses.

Most of all, the priest would be the best candidate because he would be able to provide counsel and mediate whenever you need him and not by appointment.

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