Living Together Before Marriage is it good ?
April 20, 2008 | 1 Comment
Once upon a time when two people fell in love with one another everyone expected to hear wedding bells in the near future. Not anymore. Today the trend would take the besotted couple into a cohabiting arrangement. So common has this fashion become, that in many countries the law has recognized and legalized it in order to protect the rights of children and women who are the most vulnerable in such conditions.
Is Living Together Before Marriage A Good Idea?
A huge number of people surely think that way because the number of couples who decide to live together has all but doubled during the past decade. Couples feel that it is easier to decide whether or not to marry the person they love after they take a “trial run”.
Most of these people shun marriage, not because they do not believe in this institution, but because they hate divorce. Since divorce is the order of the day in the present age, couples do not want to risk marrying and ending in divorce so they agree to leave the door open.
The Advantages Of Living Together Before Marriage
Living together before marriage would help the couple to see each other closer and analyze whether the other is really the “marrying type”. A fear that haunts most couples in love is that after marriage they would fall into stereotype roles which would destroy the feelings they have for each other. With cohabitation, since the possibility of ending the relationship is always there, both the members work hard at the relationship which makes living together before marriage a great proposition.
Another advantage from this arrangement is that money matters are not taken for granted and neither is sex. These are two of the most common marriage busters which in these types of relationships are given their due importance. Since there is no permanent legal commitment, both members feel obligated to play fair and keep one another is the loop on these two aspects.
The Disadvantages Of Living Together Before Marriage
There are a few disadvantages as well. One of the most glaring is the plight of the children who would be born illegitimate, though the society does not frown upon this any longer. However, the children would feel the same trauma when their parents separate (if they do) as with a divorce and the live-in relationships are far easier to break than a marriage.
It is also difficult to keep track of all the common property created which makes it difficult to divide if the relationship does not work out.
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Living In an Unhappy Marriage
March 31, 2008 | Leave a Comment
There are a lot of things that can make an unhappy marriage and believe it or not, most of the issues can be avoided ahead of time. A lot of the reasons that are behind an unhappy marriage were completely avoidable if the couple knew enough ahead of time to make some plans for their relationship. There are a lot of benefits that comes along with taking the time to take courses through your local church or relationship group as these can help shed some light on what you should and should not expect from a marriage. The biggest problem often lies within false expectations.
An unhappy marriage can be a result of the couple expecting that everything in their relationship was just fall into place because they were in love and that is really all that is needed. Most people believe that all you need is love and as long as you have that, everything will work out. But soon, couples will realize that their love is not keeping them employed, keeping the kids well behaved, or keeping food on the table. So when trouble strikes and it all was not solved by their love, things tend to fall apart because there was never a back up plan set in place. There was never a moment when they discussed how they would handle things when times get rough and this will cause an unhappy marriage.
Fixing the Problems Within
Fixing the problems within the marriage can be difficult but it is not impossible. It is important though to remember that it is best to get started as soon as you notice a problem because as with anything that is breaking down, the longer you wait, the harder it is going to be to fix it. An unhappy marriage can be salvaged but is going to take some hard work and some soul searching. It is going to take each person admitting that they did not know what to expect, they did not know how to handle problems, and that they need to learn more about the other person and themselves.
An unhappy marriage is one that is the perfect candidate for a marriage counseling session or two and this could prove to have wonderful benefits to your relationship. There is nothing to be ashamed of when talking about seeking outside help because all it means is that there is a commitment there to make things work. The only shame should come from a couple that just wants to give up and not learn anything. If nothing is at least learned, then each person is likely to make the same mistakes with another partner and this is often where you get people getting married and getting divorced more then a few times.
Click here to download ebook on “How to save your Unhappy marriage”
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