Managing Marriage Trouble
August 7, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Some couples start having marriage trouble when there are frequent fights and disagreements between the spouses. For some, having marriage trouble is part of married life while for others this can mark the beginning of a downhill progression to a separation. Depending on how one looks at it, either positively or negatively you can manage most kinds of marriage troubles that come your way.
Communicate With Each Other
Communication is vital to a happy and healthy marriage. Expressing how one feels and listening to your spouse can lead to a more open relationship. Marriage trouble usually starts when there is little connection between the spouses and there are unresolved conflicts that fester and grow. Being able to let your spouse understand you or at least hear you out can be cleansing for you and the same goes for your spouse as well. Voicing opinions and acknowledging the causes of marriage troubles can help strengthen your marriage stop any rift from forming between both parties.
Acknowledge Marital Responsibility
Many couples tend to shirk their spousal responsibilities as well as their marital responsibilities. Some do not even know what these responsibilities are. Each married couple made vows in front of God and all other people present during their wedding ceremony regarding their responsibilities as a married couple. Marriage troubles sometimes arise from responsibilities that are forsaken or taken for granted.
Couples who do not acknowledge that they have a marital responsibility to their spouse may as well forget a happy marriage. Getting married is all about the responsibility that both spouses have towards each other. Being single and married are two totally different things and you need to understand this before you even get married.
Spend Time With Each Other
Couples who spend a lot of time with each other tend to have fewer marriage troubles compared to those who do not. Although socializing with other people is healthy, taking timeout of a busy schedule to go on a date and talk is a way to fend off any kind of marriage trouble. Talking may even be optional for some, just spending time with each other can be fulfilling as a couple. Showing that you care for each other in action and also in words can stave off any marriage troubles that are brewing.
Managing marriage troubles is something that both the husband and the wife need to take part in. A one sided effort to take care of a marriage trouble can be futile without the much needed help of the other.
Living Together Before Marriage is it good ?
April 20, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Once upon a time when two people fell in love with one another everyone expected to hear wedding bells in the near future. Not anymore. Today the trend would take the besotted couple into a cohabiting arrangement. So common has this fashion become, that in many countries the law has recognized and legalized it in order to protect the rights of children and women who are the most vulnerable in such conditions.
Is Living Together Before Marriage A Good Idea?
A huge number of people surely think that way because the number of couples who decide to live together has all but doubled during the past decade. Couples feel that it is easier to decide whether or not to marry the person they love after they take a “trial run”.
Most of these people shun marriage, not because they do not believe in this institution, but because they hate divorce. Since divorce is the order of the day in the present age, couples do not want to risk marrying and ending in divorce so they agree to leave the door open.
The Advantages Of Living Together Before Marriage
Living together before marriage would help the couple to see each other closer and analyze whether the other is really the “marrying type”. A fear that haunts most couples in love is that after marriage they would fall into stereotype roles which would destroy the feelings they have for each other. With cohabitation, since the possibility of ending the relationship is always there, both the members work hard at the relationship which makes living together before marriage a great proposition.
Another advantage from this arrangement is that money matters are not taken for granted and neither is sex. These are two of the most common marriage busters which in these types of relationships are given their due importance. Since there is no permanent legal commitment, both members feel obligated to play fair and keep one another is the loop on these two aspects.
The Disadvantages Of Living Together Before Marriage
There are a few disadvantages as well. One of the most glaring is the plight of the children who would be born illegitimate, though the society does not frown upon this any longer. However, the children would feel the same trauma when their parents separate (if they do) as with a divorce and the live-in relationships are far easier to break than a marriage.
It is also difficult to keep track of all the common property created which makes it difficult to divide if the relationship does not work out.
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Sex And Money As The Most Critical Marriage Problems
April 3, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Marriage is nothing like you envisage it when you are in love. It takes a lot of effort, compromise and selflessness to make a marriage work. At the same time, you should be able to draw a line when the compromise comes only from your side and you should be able to disentangle yourself emotionally when such extreme scenarios pop up. It is hard to have a happy marriage as those who are happily would heartily agree.
What Are The Most Important Marriage Problems?
There are many, many, many problems that you would find in a marriage and most of these start from day one. Things like whether you should have the windows open at night or have the air conditioner on; whether the toilet seat should be left closed or open; who uses the bathroom first, and so on. You will find that these are some of the most acidic irritants in your marital life.
On a more serious scale most marriage problems start from differences about sex and money. Sex is a topic that few are comfortable with, leave alone feeling free to discuss it. However, without open communication about sex, marriages soon become a battle field.
Sex As The Root Of Marriage Problems
What happens is that the each one might want things done differently to achieve sexual satisfaction while making love. If these preferences remain hidden sex would not satisfy them and therefore it would be gradually avoided. When sexual intimacy becomes secondary in married life, this is a sign of serious trouble. Therefore, couples need to communicate with each other and express what makes them happy during love making. It is very important that the couple is satisfied with each other in the bedroom.
Money As The Root Of Marriage Problems
The other major problem in a marriage is the understanding reached on how to spend money. If there is one person earning the issue could become even touchier. So, in order to avoid some serious marriage problems you would need to come together and set very clear parameters about how and where money should be spent. Whenever investments or major purchases are planned a family meeting is a must. Both spouses should be equally involved in such decisions.
Though sex and money are often the most critical problems encountered in any marriage, you would not find these topics as a hot priority for discussion among couples. Unless there is an open and clear dialogue on these two topics in particular, no marriage can be considered safe.
Click here to download ebook on “How to save your Unhappy marriage”